Clayton playing the violin.

So when my thirteen year old son decides that he wants to quit playing the violin after 6-1/2 years of lessons, what do I do?  I talk to adult violinists.  I also talk to people who at one time or another played the violin.  The consensus without a doubt was do NOT let him quit.

Let me start at the beginning.  Clayton has always loved music.  His heart has always been drawn to classical music.  I am sure that most kids his age do not have Vivaldi on their iPods, but he does.  He begged for two years to play the violin before we even tried to find a teacher.  Violins, like most musical instruments, are an investment.  Clayton immediately took to it and progressed quickly through the Suzuki method.  God blessed him with an amazing ear for music.

At first, Clayton would drag anyone who visited our home to the living room so that he could perform his newest song.  People patiently listened to him play “Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star” and “Go Tell Aunt Rhody” for the twentieth time.  As he advanced he enjoyed showing off his newest piece as each piece became more and more difficult.

When he was between ten and eleven years old, he experienced his first slump.  He wanted to quit then, but I told him, “No.”  He switched for a couple of months to fiddle music.  Clayton had fun playing “Cotton Eyed Joe” and “Boil ‘Em Cabbage,” but his heart yearned for the classical style.  We quickly changed back and his interest in violin enjoyed a rebirth.  He plunged ahead in his Suzuki books.

We had the same violin teacher this whole time.  Unfortunately for us (not her), she is expecting her second child and decided to quit traveling to College Station to teach.  So we had to find another teacher.  We hired one.  She is a great violinist, but she and Clayton did not “click.”  So now we are trying out another new teacher tomorrow.  On the advice of his first teacher, he is switching from the Suzuki method to the traditional method.  We hope that he will enjoy playing music without having to memorize his pieces.

However, he does not want another violin teacher; he just wants to stop taking lessons altogether.  So here’s a question: At what age or ability does one allow their child to make the decision?  Every adult violinist has told me to keep him in violin.  They explained that everyone goes through slumps and that he will get excited about it again.  Everybody that quit playing a musical instrument as a child has told me how much they regretted the fact that they quit.  They too advised me to keep him in violin.

I look at it slightly different.  I never once suggested that he play any instrument.  I am not gifted with any musical ability except for the fact that I appreciate music.  Clayton begged me to allow him to play the violin, the instrument of his choice.  He is also very talented.  Therefore, I believe that God put this in his heart and gave him this gift.  I do not want him to quit.  I do want him to regain his love for it.  I do want him to enjoy it again.  I do want him to use his gift.

My husband and I have discussed this with him at length.  The second teacher began his first lesson with the question, “What are your goals?”  He did not have any.  He has no purpose to play anymore.  He does not want to perform anymore because he is self-conscious.  I believe that the best way to learn anything is to have a purpose.  An upcoming mission trip to Mexico will give anyone the incentive to study Spanish with a vengeance.  You will learn quickly because you have a reason to learn.

So far your comments and e-mails have been encouraging and helpful.  Therefore, I am opening this up to discussion.  Most importantly, how do you gain a purpose for playing the violin?  We need some ideas.  Does anyone disagree with me and think that he should quit?  If so, please explain.  I would love to know what ya’ll think.