Building a Character House
One of our family favorite’s is the Little Britches series by Ralph Moody. For those of you that have never heard of these books, they are like Little House on the Prairie with a male character. The books are based on Mr. Moody’s childhood growing up in the Colorado on a ranch and then moving on to other places and other adventures in the following books.
The best thing in my opinion about the first book titled, Little Britches, is watching the father/son relationship. His father was a mild-mannered man, but he had such a great influence on Ralph by wisely choosing teachable moments with his son as they worked together. Their best talks occurred while milking their cows.
Ralph’s father was very interested in the character that his son developed. When his son is caught lying, the father uses the illustration of a character house to help his son visualize the damage he inflicted on his own character. He says,
A man’s character is like his house. If he tears boards off his house and burns them to keep himself warm and comfortable, his house soon becomes a ruin. If he tells lies to be able to do the things he shouldn’t do but wants to, his character will soon become a ruin. A man with a ruined character is a shame on the face of the earth (pg. 41).
The dictionary defines character as “the inherent complex of attributes that determines a persons ethical and moral actions and reactions.” Character is one quality that you cannot purchase. It is something that you develop as you grow and mature. It is the way you respond to life’s ups and downs.
Helping your children develop character is one of the most important jobs of a parent. The first place to start is by taking a hard look at your own character. You cannot insist on good character in your children while maintaining a sub-par character yourself. Children will rebel against hypocrisy. Through a parenting series with Paul Tripp, I have come to realize that most of my frustration, annoyance, etc. in my older children stems from an underdeveloped character. It does not come necessarily from disobedience.
Let me paint a picture for you. I am working myself silly in the kitchen, the trash is over-flowing, and I have a pile of unfolded laundry on the couch. Here walks in two older children. They walk into the kitchen to ask, “What’s for dinner?” On their way out of the kitchen they step over the empty carton of eggs and a large, but empty jug of juice that I set on the floor next to the trash can because it is completely full. Then to my amazement, they plop down on the laundry as if it were an extra cushion now wrinkling up every article of clothing. Can anyone else relate?
Have my children disobeyed me? No. I have not asked them to help me cook, do the dishes, take out the trash, or fold the laundry. However not seeing that I needed help when they are capable of offering aid is a lack of character. This particular character quality would be initiative, which is “recognizing and doing what needs to be done before I am asked to do it.”
This definition is according to the “Operational Definitions of Character Qualities” from the Duggar family’s website that I downloaded for free. I really like the definitions, the antonyms, and the Bible verses associated with 49 character qualities.
In addition to memorizing the definitions of certain character traits, how can you help your children develop these great qualities? This year we are studying Early American History. One of my sources is For You They Signed by Marilyn Boyer. It is a book about the lives of the 56 signers of the Declaration of Independence. Each man is categorized by a character trait that their lives exhibited. John Adams showed diligence. John Hancock was benevolent. You can learn about character by reading about these men.
I have already mentioned Little Britches, but there are many books that you can use to discuss the character of the characters whether good or bad. Tom Sawyer comes to mind as being deceitful, which is the opposite of truthfulness. Use books, people in current events, Bible stories, etc. to illustrate particular character qualities, and then discuss them with your children.
Build up your own character house first. Then help your children develop their own character too. Can you imagine the harmony and ease with which a household would run if every member had a fully developed character? As the mother of four boys, this verse comes to mind, “Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brothers to dwell together in unity! (Psalm 133:1).
