Valentine’s Day is fast approaching.  Every year I have mixed emotions about this holiday.  It is such a commercialized racket.  Card companies, florists, and chocolatiers rake in the money.  Public schools and office buildings turn into temporary florist shops as people send one another flowers.  Now, I am not against flowers, cards, and/or candy.  I am not against romantic evenings with the love of your life.

After all, Valentine’s Day is also fun.  I remember as a kid working for about a week getting ready for our school party.  We decorated shoe boxes as our valentine mail box.  We created valentines out of red and pink construction paper.  Glue stuck to the top of the desks and everyone and thing was covered with glitter.

Showing love or telling someone what they mean to you should not be reserved only for this day. Seize the day to show people around you, family and friends, how much you love them.  Recently I was reading the book, The Five Love Languages of Children, by Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell.  They have written several books about love languages.  They believe there are five love languages.

The five love languages are physical touch, words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, and acts of service. A love language is the primary way that a person uses to communicate love.  Almost always a person loves the way they like to be loved.  For example if you love to receive praise, you are more likely to praise others.   Most of these love languages are self-explanatory.

Those who love with physical touch will pat your leg, hold your hand, stroke your arm, and give lots of hugs.  Those who love with words tell people how wonderful they are.  They shower praise and compliments on people.  They say, “I love you,” all the time.  Those who love with quality time want to spend time with one another.  They want to have a picnic lunch, play basketball together, and/or go on special outings.  Those who love with gifts give gifts.  They spend time trying to give the perfect gift.  They put a lot of thought into the gift.  They like to surprise people with gifts on ordinary days.  Those who love with acts of service do special things for others.  They mow the yard.  They build an art easel for their artist friend.  They plan and cook a special dinner.

If you are like me, your first thought was, “Who would not want gifts, praise, and a special outing?”  The answer is most everyone likes these things.  The point of the book is that everyone has a primary language.  One that is stronger than the others.  The book helps you to hone in on your child or mate’s love language so that you can show them love in his/her own language.

Before I read the book, I always wondered what love language my husband preferred.  I never could figure it out.  After reading the book, I have narrowed it down to two choices: acts of service and gifts.  I made a conscious decision a few weeks ago.  I decided to do something nice for him each and every day.  At first I thought that it would be no big deal.  I mean, I always help him with the ranch, animals, etc.  I cook for him daily.  And, I felt I was nice to him all the time.

For the past few weeks, I have made him gluten-free cookies and brownies.  I have hidden dark chocolate candies where I knew he would find them.  I have left him little notes.  I have fed the animals for him when he was busy.  I have made sure that there is a steady supply of sweet tea on hand.  I have done all of this without saying a word.  He does not know that I am doing it purposefully.  (So, don’t tell him!)

Although at times he gets suspicious.  One time he asked me, “What do you want?  Why are you being so sweet to me?”

I just smiled and gave him a hug.  I assured him that I did not want anything.  The truth is that when you truly love someone, you don’t want anything in return.  Love is a gift that you can freely give.  The concept of the five love languages can be applied to any relationship.  They are not reserved for marriage.

If you have a teenager at home, you can apply love languages to that relationship.  The teen years are typically hard on families.  One day your child is nice and sweet, and the next day you don’t even recognize him/her.  Knowing his/her love language might keep your relationship with your teenager solid.

The same could be said of any relationship.  You can apply the concept of love languages to your toddler, friend, or neighbor.  Christians are challenged to love and show God’s love to others.  The most effective way would be in the proper love language.  You have a few days to figure out your partner’s love language.  Make this Valentine’s Day even more special by showing love in his/her own love language.

Tags: acts of service, gifts, love languages, physical touch, quality time, Valentine's Day, words of affirmation

This entry was posted on Wednesday, February 10th, 2010 at 5:34 am and is filed under For Women, Homesteading. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.