A Not-So-Perfect Life
When I read some magazine articles or blog posts or even some books, I am left with the impression that the author has it all figured out. As a writer myself, I know how easy it is to make some things seem better than they really are. Therefore for the sake of full disclosure, I live a not-so-perfect life.
Living in the country while raising my family of four boys and one girl gives me a lot of material from which to pick and choose. I usually do not write about the days when I want to pull my hair out because those are not days I want recorded for everyone to see. They are days that I do not wish to remember. My grandmother had four children in five years. Needless to say, she had her hands full. Today and as long as I have known her, she has always maintained that her children never fought. Do I believe her? No. Do I believe that is what she remembers? Yes.
Isaac found a purple marker.
Regardless if you home-school, pay for private school, or send your kids to public school, you are going to have bad days. The question is: Are you going to dwell on them? My grandmother obviously does not and I try not. Otherwise you are not going to enjoy your role as a parent.
I am not going to name this particular magazine, but there is one in the homeschooling community that through its articles the family seems perfect. In fact, they seem to poke fun at other families with problems. When I was new to home-schooling, I honestly yearned for their supposed life. A life where everything went well because the parent always did the right thing. I quickly learned that that cannot possibly happen.
What I found instead through personal experience is that a parent should take his/her responsibility seriously. He/she, in my opinion, should study the Bible to understand the parental role. Then try. Focus on the positive and highlight the really precious moments and/or events. Most importantly be an active participant. Do not let the television baby-sit the children.
I have re-read some of my posts and it dawned on me that I might come across as having it all together. Some days I do. Some days I do not. Therefore, I felt a need to admit the obvious. I am not a perfect parent. My children are not perfect either. Some school days are very frustrating. My children and/or I have bad attitudes. Interruptions throw the whole day off track. Fortunately we have more good days than bad. And in the end, I love my choices. I love the fact that I live in the country. I love working hard homesteading. I love the fact that I read and research natural cures. Most importantly I love my family. So, it turns out that my not-so-perfect life is perfect for me.
Remind me to show you the scrapbook page I made of Trevor when I stepped about 10 ft away from him for less than 5 minutes. He was not feeling well and I was letting him draw with markers with my supervision. He decided to really take his artistic talents to extreme the moment my back was turned. In fact, he was probably about the exact same age as Isaac is in this photo. Trevor also had that ‘so proud of my artwork’ grin. =)
It’s always better to be human. To be super human is great for a sci-fi piece but to make mistakes, to learn and to improve is to be human. To pass that learning – that information – on to our children either as a demonstration or instruction is an important part of development for both the adult and the child.
Having the children completely ignor this parental leadership is also a part of human development.
Dave
http://www.dmmcgowan.blogspot.com
Thank you for your insightful comment, Dave.
I was encouraged and uplifted by this post. SOmedays I think I will never get things the way I see them in my head. But I need to remember it is a day by day effort. Something we all struggle with.
I think most people feel the way you do. Families are not perfect. Relationships are not perfect. Life is not perfect. But, we keep on keeping on. Thank you for the reminder.
It is a good thing you don’t believe your Grandmother — believe me, there was fighting, but not as much as you would think with the kids so close in age. She hated fighting with a passion, as she was raised in a home full of anger. Personally, I think she did an amazing job.